Well this is strange ~ a transition into cyber-space. Story-telling in the ether. Am I writing to myself? or to a lover? or to others in the Wadsie clan? or to the world in general? I think for now I’ll pretend that its just me and worry about everyone else later
This is going to be my place for telling stories, capturing memories, exploring new ideas and reflecting on life.
Insight. Perspective. Reflection. All things I need right now as I transition from the beautiful comfort of a lifestyle I love here in Brisbane into the unknown and unpredictable life of a traveller. My heart and my mind are struggling with this idea at the moment. Especially now that it is less than one month until I leave – Sunday 9th June 2013… YIKES
Some nights I wake up hot and twisted from semi-conscious nightmares where my brain tries to nut out unresolved issues… where to leave my ‘stuff’? where will I stay on my first night in Guatemala? should I buy a new laptop before I go or lug the heavy, slow old one?
A lot of people are asking where ‘home’ will be when I get back. But all these definitions feel blurry – what is ‘home’? what does it mean to come ‘back’? Footloose and fancy-free is such a different mindset to the settled lifestyle I have come to enjoy here in Brisbane over the past 5 years. I take comfort in the feeling that New Zealand will always be ‘home’ so that is something… but for now, I like not knowing what is ahead.
It is reassuring that my long term dream to travel with no fixed itinerary or time restrictions is finally happening! The current challenge is making sure I enjoy the transition without letting my anxieties and unrealistic expectations get in the way.
Dancing is helping – it allows me to feel the chaotic clash of emotions, embody them, and then somehow, move on. Maybe I will be brave and put up a video post. I’m not sure how to do that yet. We will see.